If I never see another meme with cutesy teddy bears, flowers or couples walking off into the sunset captioned with nonsensical saccharine Valentine’s Day messages, it’ll be too soon. Down with teddy bears, I say! Turf that bouquet! At least that’s what this time of year inspires in so many of us. And still, we’ve all got those friends who refuse to stop smothering us with messages to their significant others of their undying love. Smothering us, like they MUST SURELY BE SMOTHERING THE POOR OBJECT OF THEIR AFFECTIONS! A-ha! If ever you’re overwhelmed with the urge to join the ranks of these lovebirds, consider first this Handy Guide to Celebrating a Non-Obnoxious Valentine’s Day.